I'm the Girl Your Mother Warned You About

It's the end of the year so that means it's time to update the kitchen wall calendar. Peter is always trying to get me onto a high-tech, on-line, Google-driven organization Master Center, but his method hasn't really ever taken with me. I like my calendar. I like that it's inexpensive, non-electric and easily accessible. The simplicity can't be beat. But mostly, I like the Ritual of The Half Price Calender that happens every year after Christmas.

After Christmas when all of the early birds have selected their calenders for the year and all of the gift givers have purchased their gift calenders I walk into Borders to riffle through the shelves of Fairy, Harry Potter, and Labrador calenders at 50% off. I don't like a lot of choice. I get bogged down as I try to decide if I'm the sort of person who wants tulips on her wall all year or if I'm the sort that likes Arts and Crafts architecture photography. So I wait until the cusp of the new year and I go to see what's left. Last year the only reasonable calendar they had was one of Scenic Minnesota photos. They had a Sierra Club one, too, but I'd done that a couple of years before and I was looking to branch out.

This year there were slim pickings and I walked away with a calendar of Scenic New England. New England beat out Lighthouses of the Great Lakes and another with paintings of leaves each month. I liked the paper, though, so it was a contender.

Peter and I were joking about how dull we are and it occurred to me that I'm the sort of person who has a tremendously good time playing Scrabble with people on my husband's iPhone and that I look forward to buying calenders with seasonal nature scenery. "Really--you're a ton of fun", Peter joked. "I bring the fun--no, I MAKE the fun", I responded. I am a fun girl.

Then Peter told me that a couple we know is planning on visiting 9 bars and pubs tonight. You know, to celebrate. I asked Peter how dull a person has to be before actual "fun" activities sound like they aren't any fun at all. Party? I'd rather polish my coin collection and pick fuzz balls off my knitting.

I was telling Peter how one could make an evening of parties and bars more fun. Before the Big Night, visit all of the bars you are interested in attending. Pick the top four. Then, on the big night, go to the first one. Try to have as much fun as you can in a group of loud, drunken revelers and if it's not a good time try the next one. If that one's a bust, try a third. If you're still not having fun, it might be best to give up and go have some hot chocolate at home. With any luck you'll be able to shower the smell of beer out of your hair and be well rested by morning.

I hope they have a good time, but really I think I have this couple beat. I've already transcribed my appointments for January and February into my new Scenic New England calendar and I'm ready to begin an organized new year. Because I am all about having a good time.

I've never been to New England, but some day I might. And now I know all of the places I'd like to visit.

Happy New Year.