Stunned

The most shocking and unusual thing happened to me today. Really, I've never experienced anything to equal it. I'm still stunned and I'm not quite sure how to process what happened.

I had the kids out today to take care of some grocery shopping in the city. I thought to swing by a local tea shop to replenish my stash of tea, but the store didn't open for another half hour. To kill some time, I took the kids around the corner to a used bookstore. I wanted to find a specific book on U.S. History and I thought that they might have it. We browsed quickly through the Nature section and then headed back to the History section.

There was one man looking through the general U.S. History already, so I stopped the stroller and stood behind him a bit, trying to scan the titles quickly. After a minute, I tried to see if the books were arranged by author so I could see if the book was there or not--the kids were getting a little rowdy as they tried to entertain Henry into sitting still. I wasn't able to get anywhere, so I asked the man if he knew if the books were arranged by author or not.

He turned around and practically shouted, "Are you kidding me? Are you KIDDING ME? I think you are so RUDE to come back here with your KIDS. . ." and then proceeded to scold me in the harshest manner for DARING to bring my kids anywhere near him. I was absolutely shocked. My skin in still tingling all over from the encounter and my hands are still shaking. I told Thomas and Anna to go to the front of the store, mainly because I didn't know what this person was going to say next and I had no idea what would come out of my own mouth in the face of such confrontational behavior. They went a little bit away, though not quite far enough for my taste.

I wanted to explain that we were only going to be there for a minute and that I was trying to find a specific book and that then we would leave, but I only stammered a bit before he lit into me with a "No! NO! I'm not interested in anything you have to say, so JUST LEAVE." And of course, he was on a roll, so he didn't stop with that. Somewhere in my head I thought, "There is no reasoning with someone so divorced from common courtesy and feeling for others. Just walk away.", but I kept thinking that there must be something to say to help this man understand that I really wasn't trying to piss him off and that, really, I was only going to impose my kids on him for a minute. He was welcome to the History section for the rest of the day, for all I cared. But I quickly realized that there was nothing to say to anyone like this. He was past reason.

He got what he wanted, in the end. We left and I wondered in a numb manner what the life of someone like that must look like. As we walked back to the car, I told the kids, "Remember the people in the stories who don't like children? That man is one of them. You were a little noisy, perhaps, but it doesn't matter because that is someone who can never be pleased."

I'm still reeling from the encounter. I rarely bring all three kids out on my own because it's simply easier to get our few errands run in the evenings by myself. And I thought it would be ok to go to a big used bookstore with less than mouse-like kids. One spends so much time and energy avoiding being a public nuisance that it comes as something of a shock when it happens anyway.

Long Past Due

I've been long absent from my blog and I know it.

It started out as a somewhat planned break as my attentions turned to other things, namely my dear father-in-law's struggle with cancer and posting health updates to a website for friends and relatives. My father in law is finally home for a short respite in his treatment. We are praying that he will be well again soon. But, then the planned month slid into two and now I find myself sliding into a third. I'm ready to come back now. I'm putting on my big girl pants and getting back to it.

I spent a month wading through homeschooling curriculum. I spent hours reading through blogs, articles, books, and websites on different products and methods each promising in turn to make my life easy and my child a genius. Awesome. I love it when money can buy easy solutions. At least when there's money to be had.

In any case, I bought books (lots and lots and LOTS of books) and now I'm settling in to go over my list and I'm making plans to get an outline ready for next year. I'll need to browse through our history/geography books and get an idea of the areas we'll be covering.

I have also been planning how we'll be spending our summer. We frequently go for walks through a local park. There are paved paths which wind around a shallow pond and there are many things to see. Last week Anna spotted a baby turtle swimming through the water. Its shell was slightly larger than a quarter so it must have been newly hatched. I have guide books on trees and animal tracks and wildflowers. Thomas and Anna will enjoy looking through them, even if they don't become expert naturalists. I think that this book will be fun for the kids, too.

It might seem like a lot of books, but honestly, Thomas really loves books. He gets most of his ideas and plans and information from books. Most of the time, if I just have the books available he will find them and read them in an afternoon. It makes my job very easy. Except when he gets this Really Great Idea about how he can build a real train and give Henry, Anna, and me rides and how he will be able to use his train to move packages! And he doesn't understand that this is just not something we can help him to do. The time he got into Calvin and Hobbes wasn't so great, either. Hm, or those Peanuts/Charlie Brown comics. Hearing him call Anna a 'Blockhead' was funny the first time, but it got old quickly.

Peter is taking a vacation from the Madhouse this week. We are staying close to home and putting a heavy emphasis on relaxation. Wish us luck. Today we went on a trip to the Arboretum. We had a wonderful time. I packed a lunch and the kids spent most of the day running down the paths shouting, "Really, I'm quite overwhelmed!" and "Mommy, isn't it a GLORIOUS day outside?" and "We could explore and explore every day for a YEAR and never see it all!" I need to stop letting them watch British BBC movies. And I'm definitely nixing the Masterpiece Theatre productions as well. And lest you think that I'm raising Little Lord Fauntleroy and PollyAnna Whittier, you might enjoy knowing they fought with vigor and passion over an empty Almond Extract bottle this afternoon. Ah well. It wasn't as bad as Henry's persistent screams in the van on the drive home.

I'll see if I can find some nice pictures to post of our outing today.

Water Washes All Things Away

I am a lucky girl.

After a year (or more) of working around a washing machine that literally ate holes in our laundry we were finally able to replace it with a HE washer. Hurrah. The up side is that I can retire the delicate bags I had been using to protect our nicer clothes from the jaws of doom. Laundry is much easier when all you have to do is toss it into the machine and let 'er run. It feels weird, but very nice. I'm taking it for granted that the machine is actually cleaning the clothes, though I don't know how this is even possible with such a small amount of water. I use more water to spot clean after embarrassing salsa incidents. But whatever. It line dries before I even have the clothes pins snapped on so it has to be ok.

The drawback to all of this technological luxury is that I have no idea how I'm supposed to get the cloth diapers clean. Let's just say that the "Heavy Soil" setting doesn't even begin to imagine that you'd want it to clean off POOP. The machine sits there like a spoiled debutante with a wrinkled nose and says, "You want me to clean what?" And I say, "Yes, I do, Cupcake! Try again."

Have any of you advice on what it takes to get one of these fancy-dancy washers to clean cloth diapers?

With my old washer, I'd run a shorter load with cold water and then run a longer load with hot water and an extra rinse. That was it. If it was extra toxic, I'd run another short load on hot, minus the dry bag and any other waterproof things. Tonight, with the new machine, I tried a prewash, a regular cycle on warm, and an extra rinse. All this with the "Water Plus" button pushed because the extra water is really necessary with the diapers. The big drawback is that this took nearly TWO HOURS to complete.

Can you help me? Please tell me what you know!

I'm a Beginner!

I think it's good for people to be beginners at something from time to time. I don't mean just "trying it out", though that's fine, too, but to begin learning something with the intent to become skilled at it. Cooking, origami, knife-throwing, whatever. It keeps one's mind open and spirit humble to be a student at the feet of an expert. I think it's good for the ego to mess up the perfect attempt.

Six years ago I began knitting in earnest. Apart from learning the basic knit and purl stitch, learning to be a Knitter involves a lot of beginnings. Fair Isle, sweaters, socks, short rows, lace, cables--you name it, there is always a new aspect to explore and new places to 'begin'. To develop a skill you always need to start from the beginning.

This weekend, however, I became a true beginner again and started from square one in a whole new area. At the same time, I kept a promise to myself that I would learn this new skill before I grow old. This weekend I learned to spin. On a spindle.

I remembered what it is like to be an absolute beginner at something. All of one's movements are awkward, pre-planned, and inept. It is a truly humbling experience to start down the road towards one day, hopefully, knowing something. I know that there is going to be a lot of mangled merino between here and my future skeins of glory. Luckily, after so many years of knitted patience, I know my own determination and I know how to learn.

It doesn't look great. I know it looks like something one might pull out of the bathtub drain. But it's a beginning!

Now, what do you guys know about spinning on a wheel vs spinning on a spindle? Because when I get some money together, that could be the next step!

Of course, when one is in the weak, clumsy stages of learning something new, it helps to be reminded of something you're good at.

Pattern: Lyalya Hoodie
Yarn: A bit of this, a bit of that. Mostly Knit Picks, Wool of the Andes in assorted Rainbow Colors

If you're looking for me over on Ravelry, my user name is sarahgraceknits. I'd love to see you over there! I waste waaaaay too much time on that website. Luckily I'm afraid of Facebook so Ravelry gets to be my only big time-suck.

Tired

This morning I have had three cups of coffee, spent a half hour exercising on the elliptical machine, ran out to the cold, cold garage to retrieve some canning jars and I am still, still tired. I can't get over how tired I am. Soooo, soooo sleepy.

The first among you to suggest that I'm pregnant will get kicked in the shin.

What do you do to wake yourself up when sleep is threatening to take you down?

Hanging in There

It's been a while since I've posted, I know. We haven't been terribly busy, but at the same time we've been slogging through a lot of troubles. It's amazing how trials and tribulations can bog one down so that days pass by unmarked as one tries to simply get by.

Have no fear. Life may be tramping right over my head right now, but if I stay right in this moment, I find that it is exactly what I can handle.

And this moment brings knitted victory. Well, maybe not victory, but at least satisfaction. So I will dwell on that.


This is a baby/toddler vest (because Henry is now toddling). I used a free pattern from Crystal Palace. I like the style, though check my project notes on Ravelry if you are considering making it yourself. I used ONE SKEIN of Encore Colorspun yarn (just over $6--I am thrifty). I modified the ribbing around the arms to a rolled edge to make this work out. It fits him well. I'm not usually a fan of acrylic (it usually feels like plastic and I don't care for the static electricity it generates), but I really like Encore for kids' clothes. It washes up well and it seems to like the dryer, too. It feels soft and fluffy.

I used random brown buttons from my mom's button bin. They don't match, but it doesn't matter to me since this is a casual, every day vest. One could even say the buttons add a funky, eclectic feel to the vest, but I won't since I'm really not that hip. Neither is Henry. Adorable, but not hip.



I love those green eyes!

A Mind Unfocused

I left the house today. It was the first time since Sunday that I walked out my own door. It was such an occasion I put on my fancy pants (jeans) and a clean shirt. I even wore shoes, remembering to change out of my slippers.

I just bought Cathy Duffy's book 100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum. I spend the last four days marching through this book, making notes of books and programs that sound promising, struggling against interruption after disruption. Today I finished the book and arranged to leave the house so that I could review my notes and re-read sections that were plowed through so quickly that I'm pretty sure I missed something important.

I came to the coffee shop tonight, sat down with Peter's laptop, my coffee, and books. I got all prepared to dig in. Then I realized that over the past four days I have lost my ability to focus. The hazing from small children gets my martial gaze fixed on the topic at hand. I wonder if I handed out gift cards if people would start screaming and throw cups of milk off of the table or need an apple cut up? Maybe then I could focus again.

***

Here's a question for all of you homeschooling moms. Where do you go to find curriculum choices? We have a homeschooling conference in Minnesota every April. It seems to be ok, though a lot of the vendors are more focused on selling character development tools than on academics. Personally, I have a Bible and The Andy Griffith Show--that's all the character development help I need for my kids.

I need something to teach Anna how to read. They need to know where Iraq and Saudi Arabia are on a map. I need something that uses real books and worktexts and I need something that can teach them both, to some degree, at once. I need to know where the Homeschool Curriculum Mall of America is. I need to know where to look, where to shop, and where the good stuff is. I need help knowing how to even PLAN a curriculum for a year. This year we used Sonlight and there were things I liked a lot (like not having to plan the lessons) and some things that seemed weak to me (though this could be due to using the Kindergarten level curriculum).

Can you help? I'll take any (positive) advice you would like to give! Believe me, this won't be the last time I ask.

Merry Christmas!

Before I forget, I wanted to post our Christmas card picture for you all, in case you missed it this year.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. I hope you are enjoying all of the trappings of the season as we celebrate the birth of our mighty savior.

Another Stocking for St Nick to Fill

Here is another specimen of woolly triumph. Anna's Christmas Stocking.



Bartlettyarn, Fisherman 2-ply, I think. Colors are Light Sheep's Grey, Cranberry, and I forget what the green is. The pattern is from Annie's Woolens. After I finished she told me she wanted one like Thomas's. Again, I will say I deserved it for all the grief I gave my mom over the handmade clothing I (had to wear) wore as a child. I accepted her remarks graciously, told her I picked the pattern out just for her and that she and the stocking would learn to love each other. I have every confidence that this will be true. Quite frankly, when Christmas comes and it's full of nuts and oranges and candy I'm sure she won't care if I'd knit the face of the Loch Ness Monster into the side.

I have one more stocking to knit for Henry, but it can wait until after Christmas. For now I'm going to put the finishing touches on a sweater for a friend's upcoming arrival and then I'm going to knit off a whack of hats and a pair of mittens (or two). Oh, but to knit something that isn't red and green!

I want to knit this hat for Henry. Mostly because he's a baby and that means I can put him into whatever fool thing that strikes my fancy.

I want to knit these mittens for me, me, me. It has been about Freezing Degrees Fahrenheit these days and I have been fantasizing about them as I head off to the gym in the evenings. I have also been having longing thoughts about these mittens, too. Have you ever put your hands inside thrummed mittens before? It's like rubbing dark, warm fudge all over your fingers on a cold day. But less messy and way more satisfying.

I haven't been buying much yarn these days as I've been very focused on getting the baby sweater and the stockings done by Christmas. However, I've snapped twice and bought copious amounts of sock yarn that we totally didn't budget for. It's better than going on a bender, I suppose, but I can foresee some Man Sock knitting in my future as well, mostly to convince certain menfolk that sock yarn is a sound choice for the wise investor. After all, we will never have cold feet again! Which is especially nice since who knows if we'll be able to afford heat. Good thing I have all this wool!

The New Century

My husband has this thing called an "iPhone". It's really his brain, seamlessly integrated with an hand-held device. He uses it all the time, but I'm hopelessly backward when it comes to this new fangled technology. I'm the one in this relationship who thinks the Internet is a passing fad. Like the horseless carriage.

Anyway, Peter has shown me that there are some benefits to this Great Wonder of the Modern World. Online Scrabble. Apparently, you can play Scrabble with strangers from God Know Where any time of the night or day. Amazing. This appeals to my desire to play more Scrabble as well as my deep need to gloat shamelessly. Ordinarily I have to rein in my urges to openly display my triumph, but online, in the anonymous world of the internet I can crow freely over my opponent. After all, he or she can't even hear me! I may be winning against 10 year olds, but hey--winning is winning.

I just trumped some one pretty good. Me: 241, Opponent: 175.

At The End Of Day

I've come to the end of another day.

It's been one of those days that are far too common when parenting small children. It's one of those days when the kids are finally in bed and while sitting on the couch my only remaining thought is, "Thank God urine is sterile."

Extravaganza

My parents had given us pumpkins to make into Jack o' Lanterns. I kept meaning to do it, but somehow it never happened. All week the kids were wound up with excitement and counting the days until Halloween. Is it tomorrow, Mommy? Finally on The Day we were counting the hours, nay, the minutes til Trick or Treat time and we needed something to do. Something for the hands. And so there was the pumpkin. The pumpkin which became. . .

I'll spare you the stripped-to-the-waist pumpkin scraping, face drawing, carving pictures. Even the ones where Henry is gamely eating raw pumpkin chunks. Though his is sooo cute!

Finally it was time. They were dressed in their costumes, the same costumes as last year, and we were ready to go.


Well, almost ready. After visiting two neighbors we had to go home for more outdoor gear. They added fleece jackets under their down vests and wooly hats. I'm not sure how many places in the world children need to have a costume that's compatible with snowsuits and scarves, but Minnesota is one of them.

We went around our block, knocking on doors, dodging dogs (Anna is quite afraid of dogs. Thomas was, too, at her age, so I imagine she'll get past it.), and collecting candy. Lots of candy. They filled their trick or treat bags just circling the block. I remembered last year when Anna exclaimed, "Mommy! Can you believe all these kind people?" It must seem like a magic night to a small child. You walk around your own neighborhood and people open their doors, declare you adorable, and give you candy. AMAZING. And it's not even your BIRTHDAY.

Today I gave up any pretense at rationing the candy. I caught Anna sitting down with her Halloween bag eating three suckers. At once. Ah, the joyful gluttony.

Ah, the stickiness. If you come to my house, be prepared to stay since it won't be easy to get unstuck from the chair.

Question for The Blog

I've been trying to ignore the fact that Halloween is rapidly approaching, but I think I may have hit my limit with the church's Harvestween party scheduled for tomorrow.

I remember when I was growing up there were a lot of rules surrounding the Culture of the Costume. Rubber masks were the coolest, most everyone's costume was cheaply made, only boys could be something gross or scary, no one's costume was ever very scary. But I remember the chief, #1 cardinal rule of Halloween was that you absolutely, positively couldn't be what you were last year. So this year, when I asked Thomas what he wanted to be for Halloween and he answered "The Cat in The Hat", I balked. Sure you don't want to be a doctor? A fireman? Uncle Pete? No? The Cat in The Hat.

Really, it couldn't matter less to me--we still have the hat and necktie from last year and no one from church saw his costume last year. But I'm worried that when we go trick or treating someone will recognize the costume and say something. I'm not sure what I'm worried that they will say, and I doubt anyone will remember him from last year, but isn't this breaking some rule? Shouldn't he be something new? What would you do?

Birthday Boy

Look who had a birthday!



My biggest baby is six years old now. He's really turning into a big kid. It seems like he was just a toddler, running around, hanging out in his sling, keeping me up all night. He has been loosing teeth and I swear he just got those teeth a year ago. It is going so fast. It makes me glad that he is homeschooling. It means that I get to enjoy him a little longer.

He is by far my most spirited child. He is determined, persistent and lively. He never stops talking from the moment he gets up in the morning until he falls asleep at night. He loves to have grown ups involved in all of his adventures. He loves to make science experiments and read and write 'messages' for me all day. He loves to learn new things. This year has been all about the food we eat, the weather, growing things in the garden, and gaining proficiency with his knitting.

I'm so excited to see where this next year will take him!

So Crafty and Then Some

For years now I've been wanting to make Christmas stockings for the kids. I waited until I knew we were done having babies. I wanted to make them a coordinating set and I didn't want baby #4 or 5 to get the Odd-Man Out stocking because I lost the pattern or I couldn't get the same yarn. This is the year for stockings, though. I cast on October 1 in order to give myself plenty of time, but it got done a lot faster than I had anticipated.

Lo! A Stocking!


That's Bartlettyarn in the 2-ply. Colors are Cranberry and something else. The neutral color is Light Sheep Grey. The red is much deeper in person. More like a, uh, cranberry. I suppose I could take a better picture, but it's pretty cold outside. The pattern is Holly from Annie's Woolens. The website says it is a traditional Scandinavian pattern. We do like to get the Swede on around the holidays. Pickled herring. . . yummm.

I've also been pretty busy with the jelly making. Rachel and I got together over the weekend and made a bunch of grape jelly from some of my dad's grapes. The grapes are pretty hit-or-miss, but this was a very good year for the juice.

Last night I did a little experiment. Rosehip Jelly. From my parents' rose hips. I think I'll plant some roses next spring that will give good rose hips. There seems to be some wild controversy on the internet as to the best time to pick the rose hips. I think my dad picked them after a light frost. I got just under three pints from two quarts of rose hips. I can't wait to try it. However, I have a quart of grape jelly in the fridge that didn't get canned, so I think we should eat that before opening anything new. Does anyone have a good recipe that calls for a cup or two of grape jelly?


Yummmm. Sugar.

One Of The Good Days

This is the first normal day we've had in over a week.

Anna came home mid-week last week. Her fever was relatively short-lived and she seemed to bounce back in about four days. Thomas's fever persisted so I brought him into the clinic. He had developed a sinus infection and some lung problems (Don't ask me the specifics, though. Inflammation? Irritation? Whatever. The drugs will make it better.) so he scored an antibiotic and some lung-medicine. The physician's assistant said he thought Thomas had had the swine flu, but that Anna had had a reaction to the Flu Mist. I don't know. They were both pretty sick, but it's true that Anna didn't match Thomas's 104.05 degree fever.

In any case, they are mostly better now. Thomas just has a cough and a snotty nose. I'm so glad to have them back with us.

We had our first day of school in a week. We did a little math, we read the story of Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt, and Thomas read Frog and Toad Together aloud to Anna and me. Then we went for a walk around the neighborhood collecting leaves for an art project.

I would like to remember Henry in our orange stroller, Anna running along the curb ankle deep in dry leaves, and Thomas pedaling away on his bike with the ice cream pail dangling from his handle bar. It is one of those rare autumn days that is bright and comfortably warm with leaves changing color everywhere. We were very happy with our collection. We came home and I put Henry down to nap and the kids did leaf rubbings. Even now I'm trying to get them to wrap it up so we (or I) can have a rest.

Some days I really like my job.

It Was Something You Said

I've always wanted to spin my own yarn. Some of my favorite things in Ravelry are knit from handspun yarn. I often see amazing projects made out of yarn that just can't be bought. I want to make yarn like that! I want my projects to be that cool. It's like I'm in eighth grade again, amazed at the girls who manage to look good in braces. How to they do that?

The process seemed riddled with daunting technical detail, but I was game to try. We have a smallish house, however, with five people vying for space and I was reluctant to bring more stuff under our roof. Later, I would tell myself, when the kids are bigger and I don't have to worry about Henry stuffing fiber into his mouth. Later, when the kids have flown the coop, I'll have more room, more time.

A couple of weeks ago, one of Peter's aunts said something that totally changed my mind. She is in her mid 60s (I think) and is an energetic, intelligent person. But she said something that really shook up how I was ordering my life. We were talking about her trouble remembering how to do new things on her computer. She said that for younger people, you learn things and then you just know it, but when you get older you have to work harder to remember what you learned. It made me realize that I shouldn't put off learning to spin until later but that I should be working now to build a store of information that I can use easily as I grow old. It's important to always be learning new things, of course, but it made me consider the things I want to work at and the things I want to come easily by that time.

I would rather be struggling to learn intricate lace knitting in my 60s and 70s that struggling to remember how to cast on. So, I'm going to set aside time this winter to become acquainted with drop spindles and roving. As I go on, I hope to learn about spinning wheels and that in a year or two I hope to be well versed enough to think about buying a whole wheel. Who knows for sure what will happen? But I'm planning to begin. And I'm glad to be planning a start. I just hope I don't have to move one of the kids out to make room for the fiber stash. There is no room for a fiber stash.

My Back, In Pieces

Oh, my Lord, but my back is aching.

It's that time of year again when the most routine of chores get ignored. Laundry piles us, bathrooms go unwashed (to some extent), meals are neglected and floors uncleaned. Canning season.

So far I've put up, let me see, 28 + 14 + 7= about 49 million quarts of tomatoes. There has been a batch of beets and green beans and a batch of sauerkraut Rachel made. She's making more because there is little else in this world Peter loves more than a pile of sauerkraut. We have plans, big plans, for another session of applesauce, too. Yes, the cellar's getting full and ready for winter. If only I had some squash. The long summer days are dwindling and we're making the most of them.

Next week school is starting and we're all ready to begin homeschooling Thomas. We're homeschooling for a number of reasons and it has been a new experience for me to actually make this information general knowledge to family and friends. It's unlike me to step out of line, to do something outside of expectations, and I've been surprised at how little the surprise of other people has affected me.

When I tell most people, I can tell they are taken aback and that there is a lot going on in their minds, but, this being the Midwest, they actually say very little. Universally, what they DO say is, "Well, what about socialization?" The peer interactions in school must have improved since I went through because I don't remember them being all that positive. Sure, I had friends, but the friends I have today are not the friends I knew growing up.

I don't know what the path will be like. I don't know how long we will do this, whether it will just be for Kindergarten or through college. I know Thomas has friends now and he'll have friends in the homeschool co-ops I hope to join and the scouting troops we'll hopefully be part of later. Really, I'm not worried. If nothing else, he'll learn to swear really well from me or my dad (who will handle any advanced cursing lessons).

In any case, no child of Peter's or mine has even a slim chance of being 'normal', regardless of where he or she is taught to read or write. Wish us luck!

The Big Picture Birthday

It wasn't the beginning we were hoping for, but it was a better beginning than we had expected. Six and a half weeks prior to his birth, I walked into the hospital with a ruptured membrane, gushing fluid and certain that this pregnancy was over. Obviously, I was wrong. We hung in there and at 29 weeks, 6 days Henry was born. He weighed 3 lbs 9 oz, which is rather big for one born so early.

He cried a bit at first, but it quickly became clear that his breathing was labored. He spent the first few days on the CPAP machine, then many days after on a cannula for breathing assistance. It was days after his birth before I was able to see his face.


I spent most of my time at the hospital in the early days. I watched him receive fluids through an IV because he wasn't ready to receive his nourishment through his stomach. He had IVs in his arm, then in his head. It was a big day when the IVs came out and he got his gavage tube. He was ready to start on what milk I could pump and supplemental formula.



I pumped every two hours during the day and many times at night because, let's face it, even a double-electric hospital-grade breast pump is not as efficient as a baby. I was never able to pump enough to meet the demand of a growing preemie. I still get a nervous twitch whenever I see a breast pump. At home I was either pumping, washing pump parts, or transporting dozens of containers of expressed milk to the hospital in my little cooler.


I went to the hospital as often as I could. I had to divide my time between the children I had been apart from for so long while on bedrest, and the baby I had to leave in the NICU. I would bring Thomas and Anna to the hospital with me, leaving them in the Sibling Care play area while I went up to spend time with Henry.

Experience is a hard teacher, but my time in the NICU with Thomas made this so much easier. I understood better what to expect, which questions to ask, and how to work with the process. I had great nurses who were supportive and encouraging. They had a lot of respect for me as a NICU vet and their confidence buoyed me up.

But then, suddenly, Henry came home. That week we had been expecting that he might come home on Sunday, maybe Saturday. Friday I dropped Thomas and Anna off at the Sibling Play Area and I walked up to the NICU. As I walked into the room, Henry's nurse asked excitedly, "How'd you like to bring Henry home today?"

Incredible. Really? He's ready? I was stunned that they would think that he was ready--that I was ready--to come home. It was a homecoming for me as much as him.

The process took hours, but he was finally discharged. He was home.


And now he's a year old. Technically. We'll celebrate now, of course, but I think that another party in November might be appropriate. Ten weeks makes a big difference in the first year and I think I'd like to mark both milestones. I'd like to celebrate the day he was born, but there is a part of me that would like to celebrate the point when he will have grown into an actual One Year Old.


All things considered, I'd just like to celebrate this little boy and his great big smile.

Does This Zucchini Make Me Look Fat?

One day the garden zucchini is just a wee fingerling on the vine, the next you discover a zucchini so large that you beg it to be merciful to your children when it becomes your Benevolent Overlord.
The measuring spoons are provided for scale. I should have used Henry, but he was out with Peter when this photo was taken.

I'm not sure that this has any useful purpose anymore or if it should head straight for a position in politics, but I'm going to try shredding it and freezing it for winter, per Rachel's suggestion.

Also, I'm still interested in toe-up sock patterns, so if you have one, please feel free to give me your suggestion. I've been on Ravelry and I've found one potential pattern, but I have to wait to read through it before I'll know if it's going to work.

I'm back to my garden now. It's been sadly neglected this past week, so who knows what other surprises await!