Monday, November 5, 2007

Merrily, Merrily

I don't need to be reminded that I'm lucky. I don't. I've got a wonderful husband, a reasonably healthy family, am blessed with meaningful friendships, have a comfortable home, and am able to choose to take care of my kids all day. I know it. I even appreciate it most days.

But once in a while something will happen, usually something small, and I'll be reminded of just HOW lucky I am. It's the difference between being able to carry a tune and being able to sing La Boheme. It's when I recognize that I've been well blessed.

My moment today was when I asked T to take out the compost garbage for me. He was getting his shoes and coat on and A rushed to get dressed for the outdoors, too. She wanted to go outside with her "brithr". I ushered them both outside to do the chore with some small, inane comment about, I don't even remember what for sure, but maybe something like "keep an eye on your sister and come right back in" since it was very windy today with a sharp chill in the air. I peeked out the window to make sure they hadn't gotten immediately distracted by the swing or a trike. What did I see? I saw T holding out the compost bucket and taking A's hand to show her how they could carry the pail together. Then they walked as neatly as can be to the compost bin. From time to time, I see these flashes of such patient consideration and thoughtfulness on the part of T and such playfulness on the part of A, that I am amazed that these kids are even related to me. Where does that come from? I am amazed most days that these small people not only play together, but play together well and that they enjoy each other's company so much. They really are friends.

Let's only hope it lasts. As a parent, I realize that I didn't do much to create their relationship. It seems to be the happy result of their respective personalities more than anything. But as their mother, I can't help but wonder what I can do to encourage it as they grow into the adults that they will become.

Any ideas?


Rachel said...

Mom always told me how my brothers were different from friends. They will always be there, friends come and go. My family knows me far better than any friend- they have always been there.

Sunday Family Time, and not being allowed to call my brothers stupid or dumb helped too, I think.

Kristina said...

Hi there! I finally found my way over to YOUR blog!

About the kids...I wonder the same thing. My two (though they do fight occasionally)are the BEST of friends. They play great together, even if it sometimes is a bit rowdier than I would like. They are gentle, and sweet and loving to each other. Today, I threatened to take away the older one's candy, and they younger one cried for him and begged me not to do it!

We hope that they will always be such great friends. I think that creating an environment where they are not competing is important to helping sustain the friendship. For example, not saying things like, "why can't you be more like your brother", or "your sister can do that, why can't you", or (and this is from personal experience) "your brother has always been the smarter one".

BTW... your kids are beautiful!