Also!

I put on my pre-pregnancy pants today. While this would make normal people happy, I have to admit that it made me a little sad. The only reason I can fit into these pants three weeks post-partum is because I never had a chance to get very pregnant to begin with.

Things like this come up from time to time. I'll notice what I've lost in Henry's early birth and with my weeks in the hospital. I'll be able to let go of what should have happened eventually, but until then I'll have to simply be sad or angry on occasion.

Here's a small example: I live in Minnesota. It's winter here about six months out of the year and spring and fall another three and actual summer is only three months long. I went into the hospital in mid-July, right before my birthday. I was discharged at the beginning of September and got to enjoy a week of summer weather before getting smacked with hard core Fall. The high for today? Mid-sixties. I want my freakin' summer back.

Lunch

I know that nobody cares what I had for lunch today, but this was to the point of being so indigestible that it reminded me of college.  When I was in college, I would often open a huge can of baked beans and eat nothing but baked beans with bread.  Some days, I'd make a pan of white rice and eat it mixed with butter, salt, and parmesan cheese.  But the best days were when I would get up in the morning, open a half gallon of ice cream and eat nothing but that all day long.  You can NEVER get sick of chocolate ice cream.  Until you do.

So, today, while the kids ate their peanut butter and honey sandwiches I had a mashed avocado and Miracle Whip Light sandwich with a side of baked beans (hence the college reminiscing).  Pregnant or not, I am SHOCKED that I kept that down.

A Rose by Any Other Name Would Smell Like Fabric Softener

I realize that laundry scent is a preference that is largely personal, formed in us from our childhood. The laundry detergent people use can be traced back to the bottle that sat on a shelf in their mother's laundry room. There seems to be little rhyme or reason to it and I don't think I know of anyone who has ever changed.

On summer nights or sunny weekend mornings, P and I can often smell the thick, faux-floral scent of fabric softener wafting from drier vents throughout the neighborhood. In this diffused way, I can almost enjoy the way fabric softener smells. But it's the only way.

You see, I buy most of my kids' clothing used. Ebay, garage sales, second-hand kids' clothing stores--I could write a book on how to satisfy a desire for quality kids' clothing on a modest budget (see my next book, "How to Dress Your Kids in Hanna Andersson on a Faded Glory Budget"). The biggest downfall to this practice has got to be the pervasive smell of fabric softener. It is everywhere, thickly coating the very fibers of every adorable piece of children's clothing you find. On my more high-strung days, it drives me Up The Wall. It can be so difficult to get the smell out of the clothes. I've found I have to wash the clothes in Tide (unscented--ha!) and then hang them up on the clothes line outside for a few hours. Lately I've come across some items that are particularly heavy with the smell (or the smell has gotten stale while the clothes have been in storage-yuck) and I'll have to wash and hang dry again. What a process.

I think the problem lies in my understanding and experience. I am not used to scented clothes. My own mother's nose was as sensitive as any police K-9 (luckily I never got into any smelly mischief as a teenager) and she had a strong aversion to laundry additives. Also, as an adult, I look at bottles of Downy sitting on the store shelf and think, "I have to pay money for something that does what exactly?" It seems unnecessary. Also, if I want to smell like something pretty, I'll put on perfume.

I may be alone in this. Goodness knows that if you're going to go by the contents of most garage sales or second-hand clothing stores I am certainly in the minority. It seems like Most People adore that giggly Downy bear and often wish that he would fling himself on a pile of their clean towels. But personally, the little Bear of Softness gives me a headache.

Exercise

So, I have a question for the Internet.

What constitutes "exercise"? Really, what is considered health-promoting exercise and what's just messing around?

I'm wonder if I'm actually getting any.

I love runners. I totally admire the kind of crazy that takes a person out in freezing cold or blistering hot weather to run and run and be in pain. Even the indoor track runners are a marvel to me. They look so uncomfortable, like they are in total misery, but still they continue to run around and around the same, dull indoor laps. I can tell they are getting exercise. They are sweating, their faces are twisted into tight grimaces, and they are red all over.

I will never be a runner. It isn't that I haven't tried, because I have, but I just can't get over the misery. It doesn't feel good. I feel so miserable after attempting to run that I need to have ice cream to help myself recover.

I like to walk and hike. I don't mind spending a half hour on our elliptical glider. But I want to know if these things count as exercise like running counts. Or vigorous swimming. Or cross country skiing. I don't need to be a sculpted Apollo; I'd just like to be healthy and live to be eighty. Or ninety. I can go for an evening walk with P and the kids and I don't feel sore. I feel like I've gotten out, enjoyed the fresh air and moved around a bit. After a half hour on the elliptical, I feel tired, but energized and refreshed. I'm even a bit sweaty. But I don't get on and work terribly hard. I'm not out of breath and I'm taking a relatively easy pace. I try to enjoy myself. I feel better the next day for having done it.

What about you? What do you do for exercise? Does it sound like I'm getting any exercise at all or do I need to work harder?

Winter Cheer

This is one of those things that you never knew could be so good. Bailey's is alright, I might say, but until I'd had homemade Irish Cream I never understood how good it could be. Rachel and Chris gave us a bottle last year for Christmas and kindly followed it up with a recipe a month later when we found ourselves forlornly holding an empty bottle.

This is strictly a winter treat. We made a batch to celebrate New Year's Eve (or was it Christmas?) and needed to refresh the supply this weekend. I love to have a bit mixed in my hot chocolate. I don't usually fix what isn't broken, but in this case mixing a bit in is all to the good.

How I Came To Be The Smelly Weekend-Shopper

My poor little bunny has been sick. I won't disgust you with the details here, since if you've talked to me at any point in the last three days it's likely you've heard it already. P and I were hoping that the vomiting and other, ahem, symptoms were caused by the cold she's had the last couple of weeks.

Not so much.

Turns out she has a rotavirus. This meant a lot of projectile vomiting and other intestinal "upset"for our family this weekend. Yuck. I was extremely worried (read: frantically panicked) that it would spread to the rest of the family, particularly T, and that I would spend Christmas cleaning poop and vomit off of every horizontal surface in the house. We were beyond relieved to find out that once you've had it you don't usually get it again and T had it once a year ago.

We shipped T off to my parents' house Saturday night. A was so sick that it was best for everyone if P and I could just focus on her, keeping her and the laundry clean, and putting out fires as they erupted. We spent the afternoon at After-Hours Clinic. Our charming daughter did very well, including the part of the exam when she vomited all over me. I'm pretty unflappable in the face of most things. That very morning when she threw up all over me and the couch was pretty nice. Even at the clinic, P and I had the forethought to pack an extra outfit (AND and extra onsie) for our darling daughter. However, we had failed to pack an extra shirt for me. Or pants. Or socks. My daughter is nothing if not thorough.

I wiped myself up with damp rags and threw my shirt into the Biohazard bag with A's clothes. I was able to wear my coat, at least! There was nothing to do about the smell, though, and if you were at Kowalski's grocery store last Saturday afternoon I would really, really like to apologize about that smell, for it was fearsome. It's just that we were totally out of laundry detergent and needed to have some in a bad way. I'm sure you understand. Thanks so much.

More Advice: Or, Why Can't She Keep Her Opinions to Herself?

I have some advice that I want to share. It could go with my previous post as this has to be some of my favorite advice ever. It applies to almost anyone at some time or another. It is almost always useful. And I have a couple of people in my life that I am thinking of as I give it to you all now. Here it is:

Lighten up.

Seriously, let it go. Whatever is happening to you at this moment is not that important. Or, it IS important, but is certainly not as horrible as you think it is.

That person who is bothering you right now probably isn't even trying to piss you off. Sure, it's plain to you that they are being (insert: annoying, irresponsible, inconsiderate, selfish, unreasonable, etc), but it is possible that they aren't intending to bother you (but if they are? Are you going to let them WIN by getting all riled about it?). I promise that most people don't do it intentionally, even if it seems like irritating you is their job.

Most things that happen in this world have nothing to do with you at all, even if you're affected by it.

Brace yourself, dearie, but it could be that you are not just interpreting things in the wrong light, but that you're taking the actions of others TOO PERSONALLY.

Try to throw some Peace out into the world by cutting people a little slack. Quit being so hard on people, just because they are walking in this world. Quit trying to put your seal of "approval" or "disapproval" on everyone you encounter. Give people the benefit of the doubt. That means your spouse, too. Assume the best. Relax. Let go. Slow down. I promise that if you unclench a little that you will become less costive. I promise that it is for the best. You will become a kinder, more generous person. You will invite graciousness into your life. You will become happier and feel less stress. Most of all, you'll be more enjoyable to be around. And who doesn't want that? It's so much better than being right.

Anyway. Maybe this will be helpful advice for some of you, maybe not. Use what you can and throw the rest away.