Today is Week 29 for our baby and I think I've been noticing some changes in my pregnancy. This last week I've been having some lower abdominal cramping--not like the normal crampy feeling you'd expect during your period, but more like my uterus is getting irritated by holding a growing baby with little to no fluid to cushion his or her movements. I've also been noticing more Braxton-Hicks type contractions. They aren't real contractions, per se, but I've definitely noticed my body "working out" like it would if I were having a normal pregnancy. I wouldn't be surprised to find that my cervix has been changing this week, though, of course, it is difficult for the doctors to check.
I'd been mentioning this off and on to my nurses in a low-key manner, but this morning I mentioned it to my nurse in a "yes, I've been having contractions" kind of way and it set off a lot more activity than I had anticipated. I tried to explain that I have been having these all week and that they hadn't gotten particularly stronger, just a little more frequent. They nearly prepped me for surgery. They wheeled in the IV, talked about restricting my food and drink, and drew a few blood samples. Honestly, they can do whatever they want, but I don't want to have to wear an IV while they "wait and see" what my body does. They are painful to get, painful to wear, and awkward to haul around. I was scared. I really didn't want one. And I really didn't want to have to have surgery or the baby today! As resigned as I am to the inevitability of a Cesarean, I was terrified at the idea of being wheeled in to the operating room and being prepped for surgery. It was a terribly lonely feeling.
When my doctor came in to talk, I emphasised that I had been having these contractions for a few days now and that they weren't any stronger, just a little more frequent, blah, blah, blah, back-pedal, down-play, minimize. In the end, she seemed to think that we could wait a bit longer before beginning any actions that would prepare me to deliver. I was so relieved.
I'm feeling better now, though I wish Peter could come up this afternoon and sit with me for a while. Of course, he can't and I won't ask, but sometimes I get very tired of having to do this alone. All of the wonderful support and help we've gotten around the house, with meals and with the kids only walks me so far down this path. It seems I need to go the rest of the way by myself. Even though I have accepted the fact that Peter most likely will miss the actual delivery of this baby, I didn't think being alone would bother me so much.